Unpacking Overachievement (Perspectives to Help You Find Balance)

What’s your relationship with achievement? Do you allow your achievements to define your sense of self? Where is most of your energy going? To achieve (driven by the external) or to create (driven by the internal)? 

Why does it matter and what’s the difference, right? Lets get into it…..

At first glance you might put these two terms in the same category; they both center around the concept of doing. They might seem one in the same, however the intention behind creating vs. achieving is very different. 

They both have their benefits given that they’re used in a balanced and intentional way.

A different intention creates a different result. A result that is born from true, authentic intention will always bring more betterment for all involved. 

Creating is guided by the inward makings of who you are, while achieving is driven by the external world. Meaning that, what we are told, what we have to do to get what we want or unconsciously think we should do, is what’s leading when it comes to achieving.

Lets dive into differentiating these two terms and see if clarifying them can help you design a life based on your own truth & terms and from the unique foundation of who you are vs. who you are told or taught to be by others.

TO CREATE

Create: to put into existence; to cause something to happen as a result of one’s actions.

We. Are. Creative. Beings. There’s a freedom in this statement as creativity has no box (unless our man made instincts put one on it.)  Creativity comes in all forms, sizes, mediums and expressions. Your way of creating is your unique expression to define. 

When I speak of creativity, I’m talking about aspects beyond art. I clarify this because I’ve come across many whom believe that creativity is a word only for the “artists” & “creatives” of the world. (Remember; However you define yourself to be is true, be mindful of how you self identify.) 

If you deem that you’re a creative, you will be way more likely to create. On the other hand, having the limiting belief that you are not creative is how you detached from the creative aspects of yourself.

*Tip: Be mindful of putting a creative limit on yourself. Let me remind you that you are creative. We all are. What is required is for you to decode how your unique creativity is to be unleashed. Begin rediscovering how your creativity is expressed by reconnecting to the belief that you are a creative person. 

Your creativity is expressed within every choice you make. (Whether you acknowledge this or not.) How you organize your day and what you fill it with is a creative act. Where you choose to live, how you choose to live, what you decide is high priority, the way you think, the way you spend your days and the people you choose to fill them with are all creative choices. 

These choices create what is your life. These choices directly align with how you feel. Overtime these continuous micro choices that make up your days make up the essence and energy of your overall life. 

As we’ve all heard; You are the creator of your own life. Truly owning this fact is where our outward lives can shift and change in a way that’s aligned with who we are internally.

Creating is very personal. Creating is an inward art. Your creative process is something to protect, practice and hold true to you. It’s your sacred work.

It’s very different than achieving. 

TO ACHIEVE

Achieve:  to succeed in something, to gain, to obtain, as a result of exertion; to succeed in gaining, to win.

With achieving being outwardly based, the energy behind it tends to be “louder” because it’s less personal and more defined by our society. This is not good or bad; it just is. This is not my attempt to point you toward creating vs. achieving. There’s a time and place for both. They are both needed and productive in their own right.

The key is being able to decipher where the balance point lives within each concept. That has to do with you; What you want. What you desire. What you need to achieve to get to what you want & when to realize that it’s time to listen to your inward callings and create.

Q: Is it time to achieve or create?

Here’s a personal example for you: There was a time in my life where my “achieving” was necessary in order to create the business I have now. My writings, my words, the way I work with my clients, I can confidently say is a creative act. However, I “needed” the degree (achievement) and required amount of training hours & internships to be considered a “licensed therapist” (achievement) to be here now; Creating. 

It takes intention and discernment to keep the act of achieving healthy since it’s more aligned with external accolades and outside acknowledgment & validation.

One negative habit I see continually in my work with client’s is the mistake of attaching self worth to achievement. This alignment between being “good enough” and what we deem we need to achieve to be “good enough” is what I recommend that you keep your eye on. 

It can be sneaky to detect if you’ve tangled the two up. Knotting these two concepts up is more likely to happen if you were raised in an environment where you were overly praised for doing and achieving; Basically, where there was a lot of emphasis put on what you can (and should) do vs who you are. (Note: This is something to further unpack if you feel that there was a dynamic in your upbringing where you felt only truly acknowledged when you where outwardly achieving.)

Achieving becomes dangerous when it becomes a NEED to validate your self worth vs. a healthy accomplishment. 

For Clarity: (*It does feel good to meet a goal and achieve something you have worked hard for; That’s healthy. What’s unhealthy is when your sole purpose of doing and achieving is to mask the fact that you have no self worth unless you are constantly doing, gaining, getting; Achieving.)

When your goals of what you want to achieve begin to drain and exhaust you, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate the Why behind what you’re doing something for. 

Here are some good questions to reflect on to help you evaluate your WHY:

Am I doing this for me or for how I believe I will be received by the outside world if I achieve this goal?

Where is the energy of this desire of mine coming from? My heart (my essence) or my head (my logic)?

Is my desire to accomplish this coming from something true within or from who I think I should, want or was told to be?

Just to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with achieving and accomplishing. It’s only unhealthy when it’s out of balance. Achieving is very beneficial when it gets you to where you want to go. The key is to achieve for reasons that are driven by a healthy part of you; not an unhealed aspect of yourself.

In order to keep our relationship with anything healthy, we are required to have balance. To keep your desire for achieving in balance; It’s important to stay intentional about where your need to achieve is coming from. 

Keep these 3 points in mind in order to keep your relationship with achieving healthy:

1. Be mindful of maintaining a healthy level of self worth regardless of your achievements.

2. Be aware of believing that checking more boxes in life leads to more happiness or success.

3. Generally, be aware of the meaning you put to the things that you go after in your life. Ex; “I’ll be better when I get (fill in the blank)”

Sometimes when we get so swept up by the endorphins and positive external feedback that we receive from achieving, we become addicted to doing more and more. We can confuse achieving with evolving. When this becomes our way of thinking and functioning, we’ve created a system that never allows us to stop checking the boxes, because if we do, our level of self worth will plummet.

It could be really eye opening to do some work around your specific relationship with what the driving force is behind your need/desire to achieve.

The bottom line is that knowing your self worth comes from within. No amount of degrees, medals, or big, bold letters after your name will make you feel good enough permanently. (Although, it can temporarily.) Truly valuing who you are and honing aspects of self love, self respect and being intentional about what it is that gives you a sense of purpose is where inner peace lies. Ultimately, being able to feel happy with yourself no matter what or who is acknowledging you is a healthy and centered place to be.

Living a lifestyle based on creativity allows for inspired action, which I see as the “true artist” mentality. It’s creating for the sake of creating because you’re being called forth to put something out into the world. This inspired call comes from a very depthful place within.

Living a lifestyle solely based around achieving will keep you very connected to what others’s outside of you are doing, which leads to comparison. A heavy achievement based focus can confuse your relationship with your self worth by placing too much validation on external accomplishments vs. who you are.

Too much emphasis on your inner creative workings can make you overly inward and isolative. Ultimately, the key is balance. It’s knowing when to put the gas on creating and the brakes on achieving and vice versa. It’s also simply knowing when to BE. Meaning to BE in a state of neither.

No external factor will give you life long happiness. Like I mentioned earlier; that can only come from within. We know this; it’s just a matter of reminding ourselves from time to time.

Thanks for reading. I hope this has gifted you with some clarity or food for thought to help you reflect.

*Above image is by photographer Amy Lynn Bjornson.

Owning Your Creativity (3 Ways to Tap In)

YOU ARE a creative being, whether you believe that or not.

It always blows me away when I hear the statement, “I’m not creative.” 

It always makes me think: Why do so many people reject and disown their creativity? How is a human being not creative? 

I get it, we’re all wired differently, and some of us are not working with our hands, painting masterpieces or dress super hipster.  Although, aren’t there several different ways and paths to unleash creativity? Doesn’t creativity come in many different packages? 

I think there are and I think it does.

Just because you aren’t choosing to spend your career or time investing in your creativity, doesn’t mean that you lack the creative gene.

I believe that creativity comes with the package labeled human being; In other words, apart of being human is being creative. The time, focus, energy and how much of a priority that you make to invest in your creativity is what can allow it to blossom. There are so many ways to express your own individual creativity. Don’t get caught in the story that you need to work in a creative field, grind out creative product on the regular, or invent your own brand in order to be considered creative. 

You are creative. Again, It’s more a matter of whether you’ve invested the time and energy to tap into your unique creativity or not. 

If you’re feeling that you would like to awaken your creativity, here are 3 ideas to get your juices flowing:

1. Play ; Please still play. 

Just recently I was watching my little cousin have an imagined sword fight against some dude in Starwars in his front yard. It was amazing. The sound effects alone made me smile from ear to ear. He was in his own creative zone, 100%. 

What happens so often, is that we get older, more “busy” and sucked into the “adult world.” Blah. Don’t get me wrong, the adult world doesn’t need to be blah, but in order to avoid feeling bored and unfulfilled, we are responsible for bringing more fun and play into our lives.

In order to bring more excitement into your world, tap into what play means for you. Get back in tune with the childhood you by looking through old pictures of yourself to remind the adult you what your interests were. Just for experimentation purposes, go there. Meaning, watch your favorite flick from the old school days, play nintendo, go ice skating, ride a bike, eat cotton candy, make a ginger bread house, eat gummy worms; Do something that taps you back into your playful childlike self.

2. Invent a New Story

Please stop telling yourself that you’re not creative. In order to allow your creativity to come out of hiding, you must create a new story. Even if you’ve convinced yourself that, really, you’re not creative, make the small choice to stop yourself from screaming it in conviction from the mountain top. Allow the thought to come up and pass without consistently reinforcing that it's true.  When the thought pops up, acknowledge it and let it go. The words you speak about yourself are very powerful, so be mindful of what you put out there. 

As you practice this, begin to explore what the real facts about you are. You can uncover these facts by answering some questions.

For instance:

Is it true that you have never had a good idea?

Is it true that you have never done anything in your whole entire lifetime that wasn’t kind of interesting or cool?

I’m going to go out on a limp here and pretty much guarantee, that if your alive and human, you've had countless cool ideas and interesting thoughts. Start telling yourself that story. That’s the truth. Find a new story and a new truth to believe in about your creativity that serves you. A more truthful and factual story can be; “I haven’t been taking the time to be creative” or “It’s not a priority for me to invest in my creativity” rather than “I’m so not a creative person.”  Whether these statements are true for you or not, they are examples of more factual statements vs. judgements about your creative abilities.

3. Rediscover Your Inner Peter Pan

My intention with encouraging you to tap into your inner Peter Pan is for you to reconnect with your childlike self. I’m encouraging you to look at what it would mean for you to reconnect to the fun, imaginative and magical side of you. What would it mean for you to believe, get involved, let go, loosen up and get lost in a story? 

Lets take a moment to reflect back to the world that was filled with Easter Bunnies, Leprechauns walking on rainbows toward pots of gold, fairy Godmothers granting wishes and friendly elves making us presents all year long in the North Pole. Point being; Life was magical when we were young. All sorts of rad little people existed in our hearts and minds.

When we were young, our creativity and imaginations were supported strongly by the world. Then, one particular day, or, perhaps over time, things changed and it was “time to be an adult.” Whatever that means. How about the contrast of being a responsible adult, who is doing kick ass things? A person with a solid balance between responsibility and play.

I’m convinced that life is much more enjoyable when we regularly tap into our playful and fun side. If you don’t even know where to begin with reintroducing this side of yourself, put yourself around kids. They’re awesome teachers by showing us how to reconnect with creativity and imagination because they believe. Before the world exposed us to some difficult realities, it was easier for us to believe. Do your best to find your unique balance of fun and play paired with managing your adult responsibilities. This balance exists. It’s just a matter of rediscovering it.

Enjoy the process of bringing back some magic to your world. Put back on those rose colored glasses to an extent, so you can see that there is some magic in this world. I’m not urging you to go back to believing that Santa is real, but allow yourself to get lost in the excitement and fun of believing, imagination and creativity. Why not?

* The above image was taken by Amy Lynn Bjornson, San Diego Photographer.