Honing A Growth Mindset (A Major Mental Health Hack)
The further I proceed along my personal growth journey; the more I realize how mindset is everything.
Lately, I keep circling back to the most simple of concepts in the world of psychology. There are new fancy names for old school psychological theories and practices providing material for in trend and eye catching branding, yet when it comes down to it; I like to lead with the powerful, simple truths.
I’m not fancy. I can promise you that I will always do my best to lead with truth and I ask you to call me out if I ever show up any other way but raw & real.
Lets get into exploring the power of a growth mindset so you can make any nips & tucks to your mindset in order to thrive and carry on in the way you truly desire.
what is a growth mindset?
A growth mindset is a concept popularized by Stanford professor and psychologist Carol Dweck. It’s the belief that our abilities, intelligence and what’s possible can be developed through dedication, effort, hard work and learning.
It’s a mindset that focuses on an internal locus of control. This means that we believe that we have a lot of control in terms of the changes and results that we can get from our life via the actions that we take, the persistence that we embody & the beliefs and mindset that we choose. A growth mindset is grounded by a belief that life could be better (and will be) as you take the actions to change your experience.
In simple terms; A growth mindset believes that your abilities can be developed through effort and learning.
So, what’s the opposite of a growth mindset?
what is a fixed mindset?
A fixed mindset is the opposite of a growth mindset. This way of thinking is limited and fixed based on what you believe to be your natural abilities. With a fixed mindset you tend to shy away from making effort and doing the hard work because you believes that if you don’t naturally embody it; you shy away from the challenge or hard work to attain it.
In a nutshell; it’s the thought that : “If I don’t have the natural ability; why try?” This thought is so because you see your abilities to be fixed.
With a fixed mindset; you’re limited in believing that your growth is based on your innate capabilities, which you believe to be unchangeable. Those with a fixed mindset tend to avoid challenges and see failure as a reflection of their inherent limitations.
You can see how this can lead to a big old train wreck of many missed chances and opportunities because of the cap that you’re putting on your own capabilities.
Let’s say it straight: A fixed mindset is the belief that abilities, intelligence, and talents are static traits that cannot be developed. This mindset likes to give a lot of credit to your talent; believing that talent alone determines success. With beliievng this to be true, you naturally put in less effort to improve or create change in your life.
How a Fixed Mindset Will Limit You:
1. Limited Growth and Development
People with a fixed mindset avoid challenges because they fear failure. This leads to complacency and stagnation.
2. Increased Fear of Failure
A fixed mindset makes failure very personal. Individuals see failure as a reflection of their abilities rather than an opportunity to grow & expand their skills.
This fear of failure leads to decreased risk-taking and innovation.
3. Avoidance of Challenges
With a fixed mindset individuals tend to stick to what they know rather than trying new things.
This results in missed opportunities for personal and professional growth.
4. Negative Self-Perception
Never trying anything new doesn’t allow you the space to prove to yourself that : YOU. CAN. DO. HARD. THINGS. This leads to the dangerous belief that you are incapable, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self worth.
When you don’t feel of high value you tend to take criticism more personally instead of constructively.
5. Difficulty in Relationships and Collaboration
How we feel about ourselves has everything to do with how we show up and respond within our relationships. Our ability to communicate effectively will be compromised with a negative self-perception.
6. Reduced Resilience
Challenging yourself will be limited with the mindset that if your not naturally gifted; you might as well not try. This leave you less resilient and not really up for a challenge.
Now; let’s get into the good stuff. It seems pretty obvious to me that the way to aim is toward cultivating a growth mindset.
Here are 7 science-backed benefits and key traits of having a growth mindset:
1. You’re More Resilient, Persistent & Motivated
Research shows that taking on a growth mindset increases resilience, perseverance and motivation by encouraging individuals to focus on overall improvement vs. specific performance goals. When the focus is on effort and development (on becoming better) we have a greater inner desire to learn and grow.
2. You’re Better At Problem-Solving
Our ability to think in creative and expansive ways increases with a growth mindset. A growth mindset allows us to think and challenge the limited constructs and standard conventional thinking of our world.
This is where innovation, new ideas and fresh perspectives live.
3. You Have Less Fear of Failure
With a growth mindset, failure is viewed as a learning experience rather than a lack of one’s abilities, allowing for more risk taking. Failure is aligned with an ability to take chances and expand one’s comfort zone rather that a knock on your personal abilities and sense of self.
This allows for less fear and anxiety around taking chances which leads to more self expansion & growth, which tends to expose and unleash your unlimited potential.
4. You Have Better Relationships
A study in Psychological Science by Yeager et al. (2013) found that individuals with a growth mindset were more likely to maintain positive relationships. These individuals where found to address conflicts constructively, as they believed that they could work through differences and improve their interpersonal skills.
When it comes to relationships, when we have a growth mindset we believe that relationships can evolve positively over time with effective communication and effort.
5. You’re More Self-Efficient & Confident
A growth mindset is all about learning and growing. Proving to ourselves that we can do hard things and learn new skills provides us with the self confidence to face new, unknown challenges. It allows us to go toward fear because we are continuously working the muscle of tolerating challenge and discomfort. When we practice proving to ourselves that we can get through and handle uncomfortable situations we increase our self confidence.
To say it straight: people with a growth mindset are more likely to set challenging goals, work hard to achieve them, try new things and bounce back from setbacks.
6. Your Mental Health is Better
Adopting a growth mindset allows us to combat feelings of learned helplessness, which is when an individual continuously faces a negative, uncontrollable situation and stops trying to change their circumstances, even when they have the ability to do so.
When challenges arise; a person with a growth mindset asks:
“What is this challenge here to teach me?”
vs
“Why is this challenge happening to me?”
Taking on a growth mindset helps us generally believe that hardships come and are sprinkled with life lessons. This leads us to view our struggles as opportunities for personal development vs. disasters trying to take us down.
remember; whatever you believe to be true; is true.
7. You Embrace Change
Embracing change and new situations is a skill set that you spend a lot of time conditioning with a growth mindset. You practice gently pushing yourself to experience positive change & new things because you know that those skills will help you to grow & expand. You realize that more opportunities for growth, a life fulfilled and self expansion live outside your comfort zone.
Do You Have A Growth or Fixed Mindset? (questions to help you evaluate your mindset)
do you try to look more talented or smarter than others?
do you avoid challenges that could show any lack of natural talent?
do you tend to attribute success to natural ability rather than your hard work, persistence or effort?
do you think that needing to work harder than others means your less talented in comparison to them?
*If you answered yes to any of these questions; you may want to do some work on honing more of a growth mindset.
final thoughts & story telling time:
Success often comes from struggle, facing and overcoming hardship and challenges. Here’s a story of grit & persistence to really lock my point in.
A Story of Persistence and Success
Ed Sheeran is a singer/song writer who began his music journey as a teenager, performing at small gigs. In 2008, with just a backpack and guitar he moved to London,; playing in small venues and often sleeping on friends’ couches or on the streets when he had nowhere to stay.
After efforts to break into the music industry followed by rejections from record labels, he continued his persistence toward his dream by building his fan base through YouTube and social media. His breakthrough moment came in 2010 when he flew to Los Angeles without any sort of plan or connections and played at open mic nights. It was then that he caught the eye of actor and musician Jamie Foxx, who offered him his recording studio.
From there, in 2011, his career launched as he created and released an independent Collaborations Project, which gained online popularity and led to a record deal with Atlantic Records.
As you may or may not know; Ed Sheeran is a thing; he is a world renowned musician.
So there you have it; those of us who are able to believe in ourselves, face the challenges, the rejection, the struggle thrive. Persistence does pay off my friends. Some of us just quit too soon to see our dreams or wants pay off. If we keep going strong, something has to eventually catch us, right?
why not believe this to be true?
I’ll never forget a moment in my life when I was at a cross roads and happened to sit by “the right” person on a plane ride to Big Island, Hawaii in my mid twenties. He was around my age and was going back to Hawaii to “see about a girl” (one of my favorite lines from Good Will Hunting) whom he had quickly & briefly fallen for weeks prior and was heading back to the islands to take a chance on love and risk putting his heart “out there” to see what could happen. (I sometimes wonder what happened to him and them.)
His ability to step into the unknown, be vulnerable and pursue where his heart wanted to be inspired me then and still does today when I think about that plane ride. It also makes me think of this quote:
“Leap and the net will appear.” – John Burroughs
So there you have it friends; hard work, courage, persistence, motivation, self confidence, raw & true belief in yourself, grit, mental strength, thinking outside the box; these are traits that can be honed with desire, patience and practice.
I believe in you; do you believe in yourself? I hope you do.
If not, I will believe in you, until you have the want or courage or what have you to believe in yourself.
Thanks for reading. Until next time.
*Blog Image by Photographer, Amy Lynn Bjornson.
3 Reasons Why Saying NO Needs to Be Apart of Your Self Love Practice
Practicing discernment and saying “No” is a solid way to build trust with yourself. What you spend your energy doing results in what your life looks and feels like. Allowing ourselves to say “No” when invites aren’t pulling at our heart strings communicates major self respect, to us and to others. Not everything is for us and it’s okay to be selective with our time.
I’m not sure that we hear this enough.
So often we can feel guilty and “bad” for not saying “yes” because we don’t want to “disappoint” or “let down” others. The irony is that we’re letting down ourselves every time we put someone’s wants ahead of ours. In hopes of getting you to where you want to go in this life, I’ve shared 3 reasons why it’s imperative for you to be selective and say “No” to people, places and things that aren’t calling you.
1. Saying NO Gives You the Space That You Need to Press the Reset Button, Gain Clarity and Renew
Having time to slow down, reconnect with yourself and pause is an absolute must if you’re looking to live a life that’s true to you. As noisy as it is when you’re in a crowded room where it’s hard to hear the conversation right in front of you, it’s just as difficult for us to hear ourselves when we’re “too busy” and non stop. Saying “No” is what provides us with the time and space to gain back our energy and process what’s coming at us on the daily.
2. Saying NO Allows You to Weed Out Experiences That Don’t Match Up With Who You Want to Become
When you say “No” to one thing, you’re actually saying “Yes” to something else. I’ve witnessed how some believe that in order to say “No” to an invite or obligation there needs to be a reason for the decline.
Let me tell you something, please take this in:
You do NOT need to have any plans on the books or any other prior obligation made for saying “NO” to be legit. You can say “No” just because. Period.
You don’t need an excuse or reason to say no. You can say no because you’re just not feeling it. Honoring what you want vs. what you think you “should” do is a very powerful way to communicate to your own self that you value your energy, being and time. It’s okay if something isn’t calling you. You don’t “have” to do everything that you’re asked to do. This might be so obvious, yet it’s been pretty interesting to witness so many people struggling to say “No” within my practice.
As you ditch thinking that you need a reason to say No, you simultaneously build more trust with yourself. Every time we make choices that align with our true essence we grow that inner trust muscle. (Yes, we all have one, you included.) Allow yourself the gift of listening to the kind of day you had or the mood you’re in to dictate what choices you make when you do, in fact, have the choice. That’s a very strong message of self respect to all, the Universe included.
3. Saying “NO” Enhances Your Level of Self Worth
By using boundaries to respect your needs, desires and wants you cultivate more self worth. More self worth leads to more of all the good things in life. It really is one big spiderweb effect when it comes down to it.
I can say this until I’m blue in the face, but here I go again:
People respect people who respect themselves.
One of the most empowering things that you can do for yourself is to lead a life where you have established healthy and respectable boundaries. Having boundaries, as I’ve seen it, is one of the main paths toward seriously up leveling your level of self worth, which up levels your life.
Cheers friends. Honor your beautiful self. You deserve to do what calls you without guilt or shame. There’s a way to respect other’s and also respect yourself as you practice your boundaries and say YES to what feels right.
Above image by Wedding & Lifestyle Photographer Amy Lynn Bjornson.